The Simple Art of Learning to Breathe Properly

When I was living and acting professionally in New York, I took a course on meditation at the Himalayan Institute. Casually one day, the teacher expressed an opinion that has stayed in my mind ever since.

"We don't have an epidemic of heart disease in this country," he said. "We have an epidemic of breathing disease."

You could call that a "breathtaking" statement in itself. It certainly resonated with someone for whom--as a stage actor--breathing and breath control were central to the performance of my art.

What the teacher was saying, was that typically one's heart isn't given enough oxygen because of poor breathing habits. A heart continually deprived of an adequate supply of oxygen, of course, will fare poorly over time. Interestingly, the same careless breathing habits will negatively affect our performance as public speakers.

Breathing for speech is different from breathing for life. The latter is sometimes known as "vegetative breathing," meaning that it is passive and not aimed consciously at a goal. In speech, however, breath not only is the energizing force which powers our vocal folds, but it must be controlled to achieve desired effects. Chief among these is the need to sustain the sound, since the most important words in English usually come at the end of a phrase or sentence.

This means that, as speakers, we use controlled exhalation that is much longer than the "quick in and quick out" inhalation and exhalation of breathing for life. Naturally, then, in order to control our exhalation, we have to breathe deeply enough to form a reservoir of air that we can draw upon.

Speakers therefore should breathe more deeply than in everyday vegetative breathing. This is often a particular challenge in public speaking, when self-consciousness and adrenaline are enticing us to breathe shallowly and rapidly.

Getting a full reservoir of air that allows us to sustain our vocalization is only one benefit to slower, deeper, relaxed breathing for speech. A full rush of air that fills our lungs actually slows our heart down, calming and centering us. Try this exercise yourself: Get a baseline pulse rate at your wrist, then take a huge intake of air, pause for a few seconds, then "whoosh" it all out in a big exhalation. You should feel a distinct slowing on your pulse rate in the first few seconds afterwards.

Another reason to breathe fully and deeply is that it oxygenates our brain. And the brain needs this precious fuel if our gray matter is to function at its top efficiency. In the speech environment where thinking on one's feet is paramount, this is no small benefit either.

So, try some relaxation exercises--lying down or sitting, it really doesn't matter--that teach you to breathe slowly and more deeply. You'll feel good, be more centered and ready to speak, look good by avoiding a "caved in" appearance, and be able to support and sustain your crucial points as you talk.

One other suggestion: As you do your relaxed breathing exercise, try to get your inhalation and exhalation to be continuous, i.e., with no starting or stopping point where one begins and the other ends. Think of a figure "8" on its side, which is actually the symbol for infinity--there is no break anywhere. Unobstructed breathing like that, I believe, helps loosen the mental blockages that are so often part of our trepidation about speaking in public.

All in all, not a bad package of benefits from the simple art of learning to breathe properly, is it?

An Exercise for Improving Eye Contact

We've all heard that eye contact is essential for successful public speaking. Sometimes, however, looking audience members in the eye isn't easy, especially when nervousness and self-consciousness hijack our thinking.

Recently, I coached a client who had a severe case of eye-avoidedness. It was the first issue he brought up. And of course, I saw it in action immediately. Even though we sat in armchairs no more than 4 feet apart, I'd estimate that he avoided looking at me about 80% of the time.

He knew this was a problem both in presentations and interpersonal communication, but he had no idea how to overcome his shyness. And that, in fact, turned out to be an important clue for me. He mentioned that he was an introvert. One speaking trait introverts sometimes have, is a desire to "go away" in their own mind and fashion a carefully structured and gift-wrapped statement or response. In the rough-and-tumble of conversations and Q & A, however, we seldom have the luxury of doing this.

Before we tried an exercise I had in mind, I gave him the two reasons why I believe strong eye contact is critical to successful speaking situations:

1. You will never exert influence on people you don't look in the eye! When was the last time you were persuaded by someone who wouldn't look at you while he or she was talking?

2. People are easier to get a response from than the back wall. I often hear from my trainees, "But if I look anyone right in the eye, I'll forget what I'm saying!" At this point I usually respond: "Which do you think is going to give you something back, the ceiling or the person you're talking to?"

Our listeners should give us energy--not suck it out of us like an audience of vampires! Speaking to "the window of the soul" as you say something important to people, and observing their response, should be a delightful activity, not a painful one. People want you to look at them when you talk; and if you do, they'll trust you more.

As it turned out, the exercise we practiced next turned out to be even more helpful for this client than I anticipated. Here it is:

I had prepared around 20 impromptu speech topics, which I folded and placed in an envelope. My client had to reach in, choose a slip and read it, then look up at me and start talking about it. Understand: I gave him no time to prepare. (No nicely wrapped speech package possible here!)

The topics were intentionally ones that he would have no expertise in, and in fact, each topic had no right or wrong answer. They included, for instance, "What do you like about the United Nations, and why?" "What do you think was the most interesting ancient civilization?" and so on.

For a minute or two each time, my client spoke on each of the four items he'd selected. And I'd say that 90% of his responses were delivered looking directly at me, with rock-solid eye contact!

You see, he couldn't "go away" and marshall his thoughts and relevant data on the subject, for there wasn't any from his professional experience. The exercise was simple and clear: it was teaching him to look at his listeners even if he wasn't sure what he was about to say. He had to attempt to reach his listener with what he was saying, not fashion "the perfect answer."

The exercise, of course, is a confidence builder, and I've used it many times solely for that purpose. But it was nice to know that it works well as a tool for strengthening eye contact, too.

Your Dance with Your Listeners

"May I have the pleasure of this dance?"

What an appropriate metaphor for our speeches and presentations! For aren't we inviting our listeners to "dance," to take a whirl (or a waltz or a two-step) as we partner with them concerning our topic and message?

We lead, and our listeners follow. If we do it right, they'll be with us every step of the way. If we're clumsy or we ignore our partners, of course, they won't enjoy the experience. Their toes may not ache, but they'll be sorry they accepted our invitation.

Too often, we feel like we're dancing all by ourselves in the spotlight. One of our tasks as a speaker, after all, is to engage our listeners at all times, not letting them drift away from the steps we're teaching them. A speech or presentation isn't a solo tap routine. It's always a duet, and we need to notice and feel the response of our listeners--exactly like a good dance partner. For us as speakers, that means paying attention to and adapting to our audience's nonverbal communication.

And when audience members speak up with questions and comments, that's our chance to follow their lead. If we're paying attention and we care about whether our routine succeeds, we'll respond appropriately--it's as simple and natural as that.

A major challenge for all of us is to know that our audience is being actively influenced when we speak. Too often, we sense we're up there alone, and it can feel as though we're walking down a dimly-lit one-way street. Thinking of our presentations as a dance with our listeners is a good way to get past that feeling. We may even be able to transform that one-way street into a garden path, with us and our audience-partner waltzing down it in the sunlight.

Are You Running Wild as a Speaker? . . . You Should Be!

Reading today's political postings (it is October, after all, in a presidential election year), I came across an article that's a real gem for speakers. It's by Mark Joseph, and it's titled, "A Bible Lesson for Sarah Palin: King David and the Coat of Mail."

Most of the article discusses how, in the author's opinion, vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin is being over-handled. Tonight the sole televised debate of the VP candidates will occur, so the piece is certainly timely.

The conceit or developed idea of the piece is a comparison of Ms. Palin with King David in the Bible. We are reminded of David's youth and inexperience as a warrior at the time he volunteered to fight the Philistine giant Goliath. A worried King Saul loads the future king with the heavy protective gear favored by the Israelites for battle. Like the armor worn by medieval knights centuries later, however, the "coat of mail" is too heavy and cumbersome to allow effective movement.

David therefore rejects the gear, and places his faith in a few stones gathered by the river. No Star Wars technology for this future leader! The low-tech stones, when fitted to a well-handled slingshot, provide all the throw-weight the Israeli side needs. For the 8-ft. Goliath, the result is indeed a weapon of mass destruction.

The hero of this story knew who he was. Equally important, he understood what he had to bring to this high-stakes situation, and what he could not bring. A product of the natural environment around him, he knew what his skills were, and he recognized the tools that would allow him to bring those skills to this challenge.

As the article reminds us, he understood where his success came from. As speakers, we would all do well to learn this lesson. Too often, we try to become something we're not as a speaker, or to mimic someone we're not--to try to "be better than we are." David could have labored to instantly become a better conventional warrior--and he'd have been doomed to failure.

What we bring to our speeches and presentations is something only we can bring. We need to trust, therefore, that we have what it takes to succeed in this speaking situation. If we don't have it, all the fervent wishes to be "better" than ourselves won't help us!

As advocates of ourselves, our ideas, and our vision, we need to run wild and free.