In the last Speak for Success! post, I discussed the importance of staying positive in the face of audience resistance. Salespeople, politicians, visionaries, and the rest of us professionals know that a "nibble" means continued interest in a listener. Staying positive and hopeful remains the best way to get people to think or feel the way you want them to.
Here are more specifics: seven practical ways you can gain an audience's respect and deliver your message effectively:
1. Understand the type of resistance you're facing. Is it institutional or personal? Fact-driven or cultural? An ego trip for the questioner or a flaw in your logic? Be alert to what's coming your way, but respond honestly. Your credibility with your listeners will stay strong, and perhaps even improve.
2. Listen for emotions. My emotional state as an audience member can be a major reason why I'm resisting your message. You represent a point of view; a company; the way things are usually done, etc. Therefore, you provide a convenient target for me to attempt to redress a recent problem, or to vent after decades of resentment and anger. Even in the absence of such an emotional storm, there may be subtle connotations in what I say to you as speaker that you would do well to listen for so that you can respond appropriately.
3. Recast erroneous assumptions. The more damaging an erroneous assumption expressed by an audience member, the sooner you must respond. This may even mean interrupting the questioner. It can be done nicely ("Excuse me, but I can't agree. . ."). But it's vital that you set the record straight as soon as possible. Otherwise the faulty argument sits in the minds of the audience, slowly setting like concrete.
4. Welcome unclear or fuzzy arguments. Yes: if the logic of your opponents is faulty, or their arguments are simply so much debris floating in the vastness of space--you win! Accept this gift, and use the objection to take your argument in any direction you choose. You may, for instance, state the strongest argument of your case all over again.
5. Go low-key and conversational. The more an audience member rants and tries to provoke an emotional response from you, the quieter you should become. Take your time in answering; be logical and patient and kind. Your demeanor will favorably highlight your reasonableness in contrast to your opponent's apoplexy.
6. Be aware of your tone. As I stated above, incorrect assumptions and damaging assertions must be countered as quickly as possible. But the best arguments in the world will fail if you sound defensive or angry as you respond. Audiences won't recall the facts and figures you discussed, but they'll remember how you made them feel. Remember that nearly forty percent of message receptivity in public speaking resides in the sound of your voice alone!
7. Disagree pleasantly. Many opportunities will arise with recalcitrant audience members for you to demonstrate your rapier wit. Resist every one of them, for the reasons given above.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Salespeople and Others: Recognize a Nibble When You Feel One!
Earlier this month, an executive delivered testimony before the House Financial Services Subcommittee, and rose from the witness table with a dozen daggers deeply embedded in his chest, neck, and back. Well, not literally.
But I wonder if it felt that way for Edward Liddy, the caretaker head of American International Group or AIG. As you'll recall, Mr. Liddy testified about the $165 million in retention bonuses paid to employees of AIG's troubled Financial Products unit. By the time he was finished, there didn't seem to be a pair of dry hands among the panel members. As Macbeth may have put it (as he did in Shakespeare's play that bears his name), "All great Neptune's ocean won't wash this blood clean from my hand."
I would guess that you or I wouldn't be willing to face Mr. Liddy's ordeal for one dollar a year--the salary he has agreed to accept for his work. But what about instances in our own presentations and speeches when we face skepticism or hostility from our audiences? Resistance that's expected, the kind Mr. Liddy faced, at least advertises itself beforehand. But how do we deal with challenges to our position or ideas that we can't anticipate, the kind that only rear their heads during our presentation?
The most important thing to remember about "push-backs" like this, is that we shouldn't fear them. Resistance is a natural element of a thinking and attentive audience. Listeners who question, challenge, and play the devil to your advocate, are people who are engaged in what you are staying. Salespeople recognize such questioning and skepticism as nibbles at the bait. Why would this person take the time and trouble to engage in such a dialogue with you if they weren't interested? The audience member who resists you completely will stop listening, and probably leave to boot.
We should therefore continue to reach out to audiences, whatever the resistance, and not shift to defensiveness. Once our responses become defensive, we've lost control of the situation and shifted into a "siege mentality." From that point on, we're only dodging flaming arrows coming over the battlements--not advocating effectively for our product, service, or message.
So stay positive when you speak on behalf of your company, your organization, or your ideas. Audiences respect a speaker who stands up for his or her beliefs, even, and sometimes more strongly, in the face of determined resistance.
In my next post, I'll discuss 7 specific tips for overcoming audience resistance. Now, that is, that you're ready to welcome some rough-and-tumble as a speaker.
But I wonder if it felt that way for Edward Liddy, the caretaker head of American International Group or AIG. As you'll recall, Mr. Liddy testified about the $165 million in retention bonuses paid to employees of AIG's troubled Financial Products unit. By the time he was finished, there didn't seem to be a pair of dry hands among the panel members. As Macbeth may have put it (as he did in Shakespeare's play that bears his name), "All great Neptune's ocean won't wash this blood clean from my hand."
I would guess that you or I wouldn't be willing to face Mr. Liddy's ordeal for one dollar a year--the salary he has agreed to accept for his work. But what about instances in our own presentations and speeches when we face skepticism or hostility from our audiences? Resistance that's expected, the kind Mr. Liddy faced, at least advertises itself beforehand. But how do we deal with challenges to our position or ideas that we can't anticipate, the kind that only rear their heads during our presentation?
The most important thing to remember about "push-backs" like this, is that we shouldn't fear them. Resistance is a natural element of a thinking and attentive audience. Listeners who question, challenge, and play the devil to your advocate, are people who are engaged in what you are staying. Salespeople recognize such questioning and skepticism as nibbles at the bait. Why would this person take the time and trouble to engage in such a dialogue with you if they weren't interested? The audience member who resists you completely will stop listening, and probably leave to boot.
We should therefore continue to reach out to audiences, whatever the resistance, and not shift to defensiveness. Once our responses become defensive, we've lost control of the situation and shifted into a "siege mentality." From that point on, we're only dodging flaming arrows coming over the battlements--not advocating effectively for our product, service, or message.
So stay positive when you speak on behalf of your company, your organization, or your ideas. Audiences respect a speaker who stands up for his or her beliefs, even, and sometimes more strongly, in the face of determined resistance.
In my next post, I'll discuss 7 specific tips for overcoming audience resistance. Now, that is, that you're ready to welcome some rough-and-tumble as a speaker.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Use Emotion to Persuade Your Listeners
This week, the Guardian newspaper in the U.K. published an amazing piece about a recent discovery in human brain activity. The findings contain information that anyone who gives speeches and presentations had better pay attention to.
Scientists have recorded "the gentle flicker of activity that lights up the brain" when we form our first impressions of someone. Volunteers underwent brain scans while forming opinions of people, and activity was recorded in two specific regions: the amygdala and posterior cingulate cortex. The scientific labels aren't important. But the findings are highly significant with regard to public speaking. They remind us that audiences make judgments about us within the first 30 seconds of our presentations. And those judgments attach not only to us, but to our message and the people and organization we represent as well.
"Okay," I hear you saying, "so ancient brain circuits in our listeners light up when we give a speech. So what?" It may sound like news from the Cro-Magnon equivalent of Twitter, yet it has enormous implications for how we persuade our listeners.
We all know that human beings make critical decisions at a gut level, then justify those decisions with logic. "Gut level" equals emotions. That means that unless we're speaking to audiences in emotional as well as intellectual terms, our persuasiveness will have a great gaping hole in the middle.
To understand why, let's take another look at the human brain. The earliest part of the brain to evolve was the brain stem, where basic functions like breathing and heart rate reside. Next came the limbic system--the seat of our emotions. Last to develop in evolutionary terms was the prefrontal cortex, the region in our brains where complex logical thinking occurs. Think about that (and feel its power): our emotional brain came first--followed by our thinking brain.
The emotional brain and the thinking brain not only share beliefs, judgments, and feelings, then--there are actually anatomical links between the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex. So the thought that "business is business," and we shouldn't get all emotional about it, is exactly the wrong kind of thinking if persuasion is your ultimate goal.
To put all of this most simply: audiences use their emotions to receive what we say, to judge whether it's true, and critically, to decide about how to respond to it. The conclusion is inescapable: We had better give emotions a front seat when we're driving our essential messages home.
Do so, and your listeners will judge you all the more positively--not only for the honest self you're showing them, but for the emotional and entirely human approach you're sharing with them.
Scientists have recorded "the gentle flicker of activity that lights up the brain" when we form our first impressions of someone. Volunteers underwent brain scans while forming opinions of people, and activity was recorded in two specific regions: the amygdala and posterior cingulate cortex. The scientific labels aren't important. But the findings are highly significant with regard to public speaking. They remind us that audiences make judgments about us within the first 30 seconds of our presentations. And those judgments attach not only to us, but to our message and the people and organization we represent as well.
"Okay," I hear you saying, "so ancient brain circuits in our listeners light up when we give a speech. So what?" It may sound like news from the Cro-Magnon equivalent of Twitter, yet it has enormous implications for how we persuade our listeners.
We all know that human beings make critical decisions at a gut level, then justify those decisions with logic. "Gut level" equals emotions. That means that unless we're speaking to audiences in emotional as well as intellectual terms, our persuasiveness will have a great gaping hole in the middle.
To understand why, let's take another look at the human brain. The earliest part of the brain to evolve was the brain stem, where basic functions like breathing and heart rate reside. Next came the limbic system--the seat of our emotions. Last to develop in evolutionary terms was the prefrontal cortex, the region in our brains where complex logical thinking occurs. Think about that (and feel its power): our emotional brain came first--followed by our thinking brain.
The emotional brain and the thinking brain not only share beliefs, judgments, and feelings, then--there are actually anatomical links between the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex. So the thought that "business is business," and we shouldn't get all emotional about it, is exactly the wrong kind of thinking if persuasion is your ultimate goal.
To put all of this most simply: audiences use their emotions to receive what we say, to judge whether it's true, and critically, to decide about how to respond to it. The conclusion is inescapable: We had better give emotions a front seat when we're driving our essential messages home.
Do so, and your listeners will judge you all the more positively--not only for the honest self you're showing them, but for the emotional and entirely human approach you're sharing with them.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
From Nervousness to Charisma
If you were to meet someone at a party who couldn't hold a drink without sloshing it all over his suit, what would you think if he mentioned that he was a brain surgeon or a bomb disposal expert?
You'd probably say to yourself, "Yikes!"
When it comes to speaking in public, many of us would recognize a similar level of nervousness in ourselves. Yet we need those nerves to be a good speaker. If we're not sufficiently activated, we won't come across as the personable, charismatic person who is passionate about reaching out to listeners.
Those well-known butterflies, in other words, are there to help "psyche us up" for a presentation. Without them, we'd feel mellow and completely in control--and we'd almost certainly come across as full of ourselves and boring.
Our nervousness is a symptom of our desire not only to be good--but to do good for our listeners. While we're certainly concerned about ourselves, we're also thinking of our audience, wanting to be sure people think their time and attendance was worthwhile.
It's this desire in every presentation to have a meaningful conversation with our listeners--about something that we think matters to them--that makes us personable and focused as speakers. Embrace that need closely enough, and you'll soon forget about your own jitters. Keep your eye on the prize of your critical message--and use all of your awareness and speaking tools to make it clear to your audience. If you follow that dictate, you will not only succeed, but you'll certainly appear more confident. And that adds up to charisma in the eys of your audience.
So don't fear your nervousness. Remind yourself that it's an essential part of preparing to do a good job. Turn your attention instead to what you need to say and do to convince this audience, in this speech or presentation.
Your listeners will not only see you as more personable. You'll also be far more persuasive.
[This article is adapted from Dr. Gary Genard's book How to Give a Speech, published in 2007 by Cedar & Maitland Press.]
You'd probably say to yourself, "Yikes!"
When it comes to speaking in public, many of us would recognize a similar level of nervousness in ourselves. Yet we need those nerves to be a good speaker. If we're not sufficiently activated, we won't come across as the personable, charismatic person who is passionate about reaching out to listeners.
Those well-known butterflies, in other words, are there to help "psyche us up" for a presentation. Without them, we'd feel mellow and completely in control--and we'd almost certainly come across as full of ourselves and boring.
Our nervousness is a symptom of our desire not only to be good--but to do good for our listeners. While we're certainly concerned about ourselves, we're also thinking of our audience, wanting to be sure people think their time and attendance was worthwhile.
It's this desire in every presentation to have a meaningful conversation with our listeners--about something that we think matters to them--that makes us personable and focused as speakers. Embrace that need closely enough, and you'll soon forget about your own jitters. Keep your eye on the prize of your critical message--and use all of your awareness and speaking tools to make it clear to your audience. If you follow that dictate, you will not only succeed, but you'll certainly appear more confident. And that adds up to charisma in the eys of your audience.
So don't fear your nervousness. Remind yourself that it's an essential part of preparing to do a good job. Turn your attention instead to what you need to say and do to convince this audience, in this speech or presentation.
Your listeners will not only see you as more personable. You'll also be far more persuasive.
[This article is adapted from Dr. Gary Genard's book How to Give a Speech, published in 2007 by Cedar & Maitland Press.]
Monday, October 27, 2008
The Simple Art of Learning to Breathe Properly
When I was living and acting professionally in New York, I took a course on meditation at the Himalayan Institute. Casually one day, the teacher expressed an opinion that has stayed in my mind ever since.
"We don't have an epidemic of heart disease in this country," he said. "We have an epidemic of breathing disease."
You could call that a "breathtaking" statement in itself. It certainly resonated with someone for whom--as a stage actor--breathing and breath control were central to the performance of my art.
What the teacher was saying, was that typically one's heart isn't given enough oxygen because of poor breathing habits. A heart continually deprived of an adequate supply of oxygen, of course, will fare poorly over time. Interestingly, the same careless breathing habits will negatively affect our performance as public speakers.
Breathing for speech is different from breathing for life. The latter is sometimes known as "vegetative breathing," meaning that it is passive and not aimed consciously at a goal. In speech, however, breath not only is the energizing force which powers our vocal folds, but it must be controlled to achieve desired effects. Chief among these is the need to sustain the sound, since the most important words in English usually come at the end of a phrase or sentence.
This means that, as speakers, we use controlled exhalation that is much longer than the "quick in and quick out" inhalation and exhalation of breathing for life. Naturally, then, in order to control our exhalation, we have to breathe deeply enough to form a reservoir of air that we can draw upon.
Speakers therefore should breathe more deeply than in everyday vegetative breathing. This is often a particular challenge in public speaking, when self-consciousness and adrenaline are enticing us to breathe shallowly and rapidly.
Getting a full reservoir of air that allows us to sustain our vocalization is only one benefit to slower, deeper, relaxed breathing for speech. A full rush of air that fills our lungs actually slows our heart down, calming and centering us. Try this exercise yourself: Get a baseline pulse rate at your wrist, then take a huge intake of air, pause for a few seconds, then "whoosh" it all out in a big exhalation. You should feel a distinct slowing on your pulse rate in the first few seconds afterwards.
Another reason to breathe fully and deeply is that it oxygenates our brain. And the brain needs this precious fuel if our gray matter is to function at its top efficiency. In the speech environment where thinking on one's feet is paramount, this is no small benefit either.
So, try some relaxation exercises--lying down or sitting, it really doesn't matter--that teach you to breathe slowly and more deeply. You'll feel good, be more centered and ready to speak, look good by avoiding a "caved in" appearance, and be able to support and sustain your crucial points as you talk.
One other suggestion: As you do your relaxed breathing exercise, try to get your inhalation and exhalation to be continuous, i.e., with no starting or stopping point where one begins and the other ends. Think of a figure "8" on its side, which is actually the symbol for infinity--there is no break anywhere. Unobstructed breathing like that, I believe, helps loosen the mental blockages that are so often part of our trepidation about speaking in public.
All in all, not a bad package of benefits from the simple art of learning to breathe properly, is it?
"We don't have an epidemic of heart disease in this country," he said. "We have an epidemic of breathing disease."
You could call that a "breathtaking" statement in itself. It certainly resonated with someone for whom--as a stage actor--breathing and breath control were central to the performance of my art.
What the teacher was saying, was that typically one's heart isn't given enough oxygen because of poor breathing habits. A heart continually deprived of an adequate supply of oxygen, of course, will fare poorly over time. Interestingly, the same careless breathing habits will negatively affect our performance as public speakers.
Breathing for speech is different from breathing for life. The latter is sometimes known as "vegetative breathing," meaning that it is passive and not aimed consciously at a goal. In speech, however, breath not only is the energizing force which powers our vocal folds, but it must be controlled to achieve desired effects. Chief among these is the need to sustain the sound, since the most important words in English usually come at the end of a phrase or sentence.
This means that, as speakers, we use controlled exhalation that is much longer than the "quick in and quick out" inhalation and exhalation of breathing for life. Naturally, then, in order to control our exhalation, we have to breathe deeply enough to form a reservoir of air that we can draw upon.
Speakers therefore should breathe more deeply than in everyday vegetative breathing. This is often a particular challenge in public speaking, when self-consciousness and adrenaline are enticing us to breathe shallowly and rapidly.
Getting a full reservoir of air that allows us to sustain our vocalization is only one benefit to slower, deeper, relaxed breathing for speech. A full rush of air that fills our lungs actually slows our heart down, calming and centering us. Try this exercise yourself: Get a baseline pulse rate at your wrist, then take a huge intake of air, pause for a few seconds, then "whoosh" it all out in a big exhalation. You should feel a distinct slowing on your pulse rate in the first few seconds afterwards.
Another reason to breathe fully and deeply is that it oxygenates our brain. And the brain needs this precious fuel if our gray matter is to function at its top efficiency. In the speech environment where thinking on one's feet is paramount, this is no small benefit either.
So, try some relaxation exercises--lying down or sitting, it really doesn't matter--that teach you to breathe slowly and more deeply. You'll feel good, be more centered and ready to speak, look good by avoiding a "caved in" appearance, and be able to support and sustain your crucial points as you talk.
One other suggestion: As you do your relaxed breathing exercise, try to get your inhalation and exhalation to be continuous, i.e., with no starting or stopping point where one begins and the other ends. Think of a figure "8" on its side, which is actually the symbol for infinity--there is no break anywhere. Unobstructed breathing like that, I believe, helps loosen the mental blockages that are so often part of our trepidation about speaking in public.
All in all, not a bad package of benefits from the simple art of learning to breathe properly, is it?
Friday, October 17, 2008
An Exercise for Improving Eye Contact
We've all heard that eye contact is essential for successful public speaking. Sometimes, however, looking audience members in the eye isn't easy, especially when nervousness and self-consciousness hijack our thinking.
Recently, I coached a client who had a severe case of eye-avoidedness. It was the first issue he brought up. And of course, I saw it in action immediately. Even though we sat in armchairs no more than 4 feet apart, I'd estimate that he avoided looking at me about 80% of the time.
He knew this was a problem both in presentations and interpersonal communication, but he had no idea how to overcome his shyness. And that, in fact, turned out to be an important clue for me. He mentioned that he was an introvert. One speaking trait introverts sometimes have, is a desire to "go away" in their own mind and fashion a carefully structured and gift-wrapped statement or response. In the rough-and-tumble of conversations and Q & A, however, we seldom have the luxury of doing this.
Before we tried an exercise I had in mind, I gave him the two reasons why I believe strong eye contact is critical to successful speaking situations:
1. You will never exert influence on people you don't look in the eye! When was the last time you were persuaded by someone who wouldn't look at you while he or she was talking?
2. People are easier to get a response from than the back wall. I often hear from my trainees, "But if I look anyone right in the eye, I'll forget what I'm saying!" At this point I usually respond: "Which do you think is going to give you something back, the ceiling or the person you're talking to?"
Our listeners should give us energy--not suck it out of us like an audience of vampires! Speaking to "the window of the soul" as you say something important to people, and observing their response, should be a delightful activity, not a painful one. People want you to look at them when you talk; and if you do, they'll trust you more.
As it turned out, the exercise we practiced next turned out to be even more helpful for this client than I anticipated. Here it is:
I had prepared around 20 impromptu speech topics, which I folded and placed in an envelope. My client had to reach in, choose a slip and read it, then look up at me and start talking about it. Understand: I gave him no time to prepare. (No nicely wrapped speech package possible here!)
The topics were intentionally ones that he would have no expertise in, and in fact, each topic had no right or wrong answer. They included, for instance, "What do you like about the United Nations, and why?" "What do you think was the most interesting ancient civilization?" and so on.
For a minute or two each time, my client spoke on each of the four items he'd selected. And I'd say that 90% of his responses were delivered looking directly at me, with rock-solid eye contact!
You see, he couldn't "go away" and marshall his thoughts and relevant data on the subject, for there wasn't any from his professional experience. The exercise was simple and clear: it was teaching him to look at his listeners even if he wasn't sure what he was about to say. He had to attempt to reach his listener with what he was saying, not fashion "the perfect answer."
The exercise, of course, is a confidence builder, and I've used it many times solely for that purpose. But it was nice to know that it works well as a tool for strengthening eye contact, too.
Recently, I coached a client who had a severe case of eye-avoidedness. It was the first issue he brought up. And of course, I saw it in action immediately. Even though we sat in armchairs no more than 4 feet apart, I'd estimate that he avoided looking at me about 80% of the time.
He knew this was a problem both in presentations and interpersonal communication, but he had no idea how to overcome his shyness. And that, in fact, turned out to be an important clue for me. He mentioned that he was an introvert. One speaking trait introverts sometimes have, is a desire to "go away" in their own mind and fashion a carefully structured and gift-wrapped statement or response. In the rough-and-tumble of conversations and Q & A, however, we seldom have the luxury of doing this.
Before we tried an exercise I had in mind, I gave him the two reasons why I believe strong eye contact is critical to successful speaking situations:
1. You will never exert influence on people you don't look in the eye! When was the last time you were persuaded by someone who wouldn't look at you while he or she was talking?
2. People are easier to get a response from than the back wall. I often hear from my trainees, "But if I look anyone right in the eye, I'll forget what I'm saying!" At this point I usually respond: "Which do you think is going to give you something back, the ceiling or the person you're talking to?"
Our listeners should give us energy--not suck it out of us like an audience of vampires! Speaking to "the window of the soul" as you say something important to people, and observing their response, should be a delightful activity, not a painful one. People want you to look at them when you talk; and if you do, they'll trust you more.
As it turned out, the exercise we practiced next turned out to be even more helpful for this client than I anticipated. Here it is:
I had prepared around 20 impromptu speech topics, which I folded and placed in an envelope. My client had to reach in, choose a slip and read it, then look up at me and start talking about it. Understand: I gave him no time to prepare. (No nicely wrapped speech package possible here!)
The topics were intentionally ones that he would have no expertise in, and in fact, each topic had no right or wrong answer. They included, for instance, "What do you like about the United Nations, and why?" "What do you think was the most interesting ancient civilization?" and so on.
For a minute or two each time, my client spoke on each of the four items he'd selected. And I'd say that 90% of his responses were delivered looking directly at me, with rock-solid eye contact!
You see, he couldn't "go away" and marshall his thoughts and relevant data on the subject, for there wasn't any from his professional experience. The exercise was simple and clear: it was teaching him to look at his listeners even if he wasn't sure what he was about to say. He had to attempt to reach his listener with what he was saying, not fashion "the perfect answer."
The exercise, of course, is a confidence builder, and I've used it many times solely for that purpose. But it was nice to know that it works well as a tool for strengthening eye contact, too.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Your Dance with Your Listeners
"May I have the pleasure of this dance?"
What an appropriate metaphor for our speeches and presentations! For aren't we inviting our listeners to "dance," to take a whirl (or a waltz or a two-step) as we partner with them concerning our topic and message?
We lead, and our listeners follow. If we do it right, they'll be with us every step of the way. If we're clumsy or we ignore our partners, of course, they won't enjoy the experience. Their toes may not ache, but they'll be sorry they accepted our invitation.
Too often, we feel like we're dancing all by ourselves in the spotlight. One of our tasks as a speaker, after all, is to engage our listeners at all times, not letting them drift away from the steps we're teaching them. A speech or presentation isn't a solo tap routine. It's always a duet, and we need to notice and feel the response of our listeners--exactly like a good dance partner. For us as speakers, that means paying attention to and adapting to our audience's nonverbal communication.
And when audience members speak up with questions and comments, that's our chance to follow their lead. If we're paying attention and we care about whether our routine succeeds, we'll respond appropriately--it's as simple and natural as that.
A major challenge for all of us is to know that our audience is being actively influenced when we speak. Too often, we sense we're up there alone, and it can feel as though we're walking down a dimly-lit one-way street. Thinking of our presentations as a dance with our listeners is a good way to get past that feeling. We may even be able to transform that one-way street into a garden path, with us and our audience-partner waltzing down it in the sunlight.
What an appropriate metaphor for our speeches and presentations! For aren't we inviting our listeners to "dance," to take a whirl (or a waltz or a two-step) as we partner with them concerning our topic and message?
We lead, and our listeners follow. If we do it right, they'll be with us every step of the way. If we're clumsy or we ignore our partners, of course, they won't enjoy the experience. Their toes may not ache, but they'll be sorry they accepted our invitation.
Too often, we feel like we're dancing all by ourselves in the spotlight. One of our tasks as a speaker, after all, is to engage our listeners at all times, not letting them drift away from the steps we're teaching them. A speech or presentation isn't a solo tap routine. It's always a duet, and we need to notice and feel the response of our listeners--exactly like a good dance partner. For us as speakers, that means paying attention to and adapting to our audience's nonverbal communication.
And when audience members speak up with questions and comments, that's our chance to follow their lead. If we're paying attention and we care about whether our routine succeeds, we'll respond appropriately--it's as simple and natural as that.
A major challenge for all of us is to know that our audience is being actively influenced when we speak. Too often, we sense we're up there alone, and it can feel as though we're walking down a dimly-lit one-way street. Thinking of our presentations as a dance with our listeners is a good way to get past that feeling. We may even be able to transform that one-way street into a garden path, with us and our audience-partner waltzing down it in the sunlight.
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