How to Talk Your Way Out of Public Speaking Fear

There is no such thing as public speaking.

That simple claim may seem like a castle in the air to anyone with public speaking anxiety. And yet it’s absolutely true.

We learn to fear this thing we call “public speaking.” Our fear doesn’t emerge out of nothingness, and it doesn’t take shape without our help. Speaking in public becomes anxiety-provoking only because we make it so. But the things we hope to achieve in a speech or presentation are the very same goals we aim for in interpersonal communication:

• We want to be heard.
• We want to connect with people.
• We’d like to help people if we can.
• We need to convey important information.
• We want to express our emotions.
• We’d like to bring about positive outcomes in people’s lives.
• We’re trying to solve a problem.
• We’re offering guidance or leadership.
• We have a vision we want to share with others.
• Our product or service meets a need, and we want to tell people about it.
• We wish to honor a person or an organization.
• It’s a special occasion, and we want to say something about it.
• We’d like to share something interesting or funny with our audience.

In all of these situations, we’re trying to move people: to positively change the way they think, feel, or behave.

And so we talk to them to make that happen.

We talk—and that little word says it all. We don’t orate, declaim, rant, or recite. We have a conversation with someone who is listening, which is the most natural and effective way for one human being to communicate with a person or a group.

We share important information and emotion by talking about those things.

When we do this with family, friends, colleagues, and chums, we speak easily and naturally. Our voice, body language, personality, and sense of humor emerge effortlessly. It’s just us, sharing something we hope our listeners will find interesting.

But a change takes place when we give a presentation, doesn’t it? That’s when nervousness and self-consciousness really kick in. Suddenly, those individuals we talk to without any problem become part of a huge creature with dozens or even hundreds of eyes, hands, and feet.

Now we’re no longer in easy conversation with people. Instead, we’re hoping simply to survive!

What we’ve done, of course, is create an inner reality that’s much worse than the actual reality. We sense danger when there really isn’t any. Is it any wonder that we race through our speech or meeting remarks, fearful and uncomfortable, demonstrating at every moment HOW UNPLEASANT IT IS TO SPEAK IN FRONT OF OTHERS?

You Not Only Hold the Key to Success, You’ve Used it Hundreds of Times

Here’s the good news—the great news—about not only surviving but thriving in situations like this: You already know how to be a confident and dynamic public speaker. In fact, you’ve been using the exact skills, in just the right way, your whole life.

You just haven’t realized it.

So here’s the secret that’s not such a secret about reducing stage fright: “Public speaking” is nothing more than a conversation you’re having with more than one person. If you happen to be standing up while giving your speech or presentation, then it’s simply a conversation on your feet.

In other words, you’re perfectly positioned to talk your way through your fear of public speaking. In fact, that’s the only way to do it!

To be good at speaking in public—to be fully confident and to enjoy it—you just have to speak as you would in a one-on-one conversation.

There’s never a need for you to become “better” than you would be while chatting with your friends. In fact, it’s the attempt to do so which makes you feel like you don’t look or sound like yourself.

No wonder, because you don’t!

Talking—just talking—to people is what will make you come across at your absolute best. There really is nothing fancier or more scientific you need to know about confident public speaking.

When you speak like yourself rather than that excellent speaker you’d like to be, you maximize the talents you already have in abundance.

So congratulations on being an interesting person who has something to say. We’re looking forward to hearing from you.